A young woman went to her Grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.
Her Grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.
She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her Granddaughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft and mushy. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardened egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.
The daughter smiled as she tasted its deep flavor and inhaled its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What’s the point, Grandma?”
Her Grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water – but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin, outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her Granddaughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong? But with pain and adversity, do I wilt and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a fluid spirit but, after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water – the very circumstance that brings the adversity, the pain, the hardship – into something quite wonderful. When the water gets hot, it releases it’s fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better, and change the situation around you for the better.
When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?
Jennifer Hyatt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist through the Board of Behavioral Sciences in Southern California.
Mrs. Hyatt earned a Master of Arts degree (M.A.) in Counseling: Human Services with Christian Specialization from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. Mrs. Hyatt went on to work in both private and community-based schools as a teacher before earning a Master of Science degree (M.S.) in Counseling Psychology from California Baptist University (CBU) in Riverside, California.
Mrs. Hyatt holds the belief of continued personal and professional growth and education and strives to add to her evolving skill set. Mrs. Hyatt's clinical background includes working with the Murrieta Unified School District as a mental health professional serving students within the areas of individual and group counseling, specifically within the military and foster student populations. Mrs. Hyatt also has experience within the foster care system as a former Certified Foster Parent in Temecula, CA before going on to complete work as an Agency Social Worker and eventual Social Worker Supervisor with Kamali'i Foster Family Agency in Lake Elsinore, CA for youth, ages 0-21. Mrs. Hyatt has also served as the Corporate Compliance Specialist and Resource Family Specialist Supervisor wherein she is certified within SAFE psychosocial home studies towards the assessment of prospective families towards the goal of permanency for youth. Further, Mrs. Hyatt was a key member of the CARF accreditation team towards quality assurance and attainment of the highest level of accreditation standards. Current day, Mrs. Hyatt serves the role of Clinical Director.
Other areas of clinical experience Mrs. Hyatt possess include: grief/loss, attachment issues, balancing family and work, divorce/separation, identity, trauma, blended families, trauma recovery, resiliency, self-esteem, child abuse/neglect, positive parenting, behavioral issues and positive discipline, human growth and development, life skills, infidelity recovery, self-care, domestic violence, anxiety, depression, suicide awareness and prevention, relationship issues, problem solving skills, anger management, de-escalation, emotional regulation, time management, family dynamics, parent support, stress management, conflict resolution, and much more.
Equipping and empowering is the cornerstone of Mrs. Hyatt’s approach towards the holistic healing and growth of Mind~Body~Spirit. Mrs. Hyatt believes in the power of partnering with the client on the journey towards healing and restoration towards optimal functioning. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Mrs. Hyatt utilizes a mixture of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT), Solution-Focused Interventions, and Mindfulness as she seeks to tailor treatment goals towards individual client needs.
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